The Spring Fling

I am standing here watching Emily "socialize" at the Spring Fling sponsored by our Intermediate Unit. (For those that are not in the special needs world, the Intermediate Unit is the entity that coordinates special needs education and programming for the school districts. Some children have needs that cannot be adequately met by individual school districts. These children are educated in IU classes with children from many different school districts with similar needs. Emily now receives job skill training through the IU but her education from our school district.) The IU also sponsors social events for special needs students as well as trainings and outreach for parents. The dance is a major social event complete with decorations, DJ, refreshments and teens dressed in all their finery. It should be like any teenage dance but it isn't. There are no groups of girls whispering and giggling about the things teenage girls find so important. There are no groups of boys shuffling their feet, hashing over the latest big game and wondering if that special girl will talk with him. These teens are physically mature but mentally and socially much younger children. Some are in formal wear and look awkward and out of place. The girls are unsteady in their high heeled shoes. They all appear to be having a good time although I get the distinct feeling some do not know what they are doing there and exactly what is expected of them.

Emily is one of the ones that is a little confused. At first she stands in the middle of the room alone. Eventually she starts dancing, alone. She does not approach anyone to form a group for social support. The teens that approach her are met with an aloofness that tells them "Move along. There will be no conversation here." And thankfully they do, without being offended, as if it is normal and to be expected. Then, without fanfare, Shreya appears and dances in Emily's general vicinity. Shreya is, by Emily's definition, Emily's best friend. She is a very high functioning autistic that has been in Emily's classes since 5^th grade. Although Shreya functions at a higher educational level and is a bit more communicative than Emily, she exhibits many of the same social behaviors and is equally as aloof. At the end of the song they embrace momentarily and mumble their Hellos and How are yous and go back to dancing the next song. They dance the night away, even the slow dances, each in their own thoughts. They had their pictures taken by the photographer, got snacks and punch and went back to the dance floor. Emily had a great time. I am sure Shreya did as well. The last song is played and the two best friends part company without a single Good bye or See you Monday. Melancholy sweeps over me.

I have not grieved over the life lost to us since Emily was very young. We have been very busy wending our way through the educational system, behavior modification plans, speech and occupational therapy and life. It is times like Saturday night, one of the highlights of Emily's year, that makes me think of what might have been once again. So…dance young lady. Dance, dance, dance until the exhaustion overwhelms you and the blisters make you limp. Revel in the night while I feel sadness in your joy.